mismas

Santa Claus: A Physicist's Perspective

I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.

II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hopout, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get backup the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but will accept for the purposes of our calculations). We are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second --- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them --- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

IV. 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance --- this would heatup the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about thetime Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accellerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

My Mismas Wishlist (eherm! eherm!)

malamang sa mga oras na ito eh nakabili na kayo ng regalo nyo para sakin. pero hindi naman masamang mangarap diba? haha! post ko pa rin ang aking mga pangarap sa buhay *wide grin*

1. tv for my room (dapat lang ata may tv nako kasi may dvd player nako. Wala naman atang silbi yung player ko kung walang tv lol)

2. kama! kama! kama! hanggang ngayon sa kutson pa rin ako nakahiga eh *sniff* tsaka dagdag na unan, kumot, pillow case, at bed sheet na rin hehehe!

3. bagong cel! ang shopakin kung cellphone, mana sa may-ari! nyahaha!

4. cd player. oh yes! wala pakong cd player. how sad :(

5. bagong rubbershoes

6. new pair of black boots

7. iba pang abubot sa bago kong room (na sobrang hubad pa rin hanggang ngayon) para naman magkabuhay sya, like aircon, personal ref, hmmm ano pa ba? Wahahaha! :))

8. bagong undies, preferably white and black wehehehe! tagal ko na ring hindi nakakabili ng bago (ten years na ata? *loughing out loud*)

9. pc para malubos ang pag-iinternet. bulok kasi ng server sa office eh. at para pwede akong gumawa ng skrip ko sa apartment.

10. roommate!!! apply na kayo daliii!!! purely business lang, ok? ;) haha!

This year, natutunan ko na...

1. wag basta-basta magtitiwala.

2. no matter how much you love someone, you can never force them to stay.

3. no matter how you gave your all, it will never be enough for some.

4. it is easier to be wise for people than to be wise for ourselves.

5. kahit ano pa ang mangyari, ang magulang ay magulang pa rin.

6. ang hirap maging lesbiana, you have to deal with PMS twice a month! hahaha!

7. mahirap mabuhay nang independent! paksyet! :))

8. may takdang panahon ang paghilom ng sugat. hindi pwedeng madaliin. masakit pero kailangang tiisin.

9. NEVER ever say words you don't really mean.

10. sa huli, walang ibang makakatulong sakin kundi ang sarili ko.

11. masarap maging single...

12. PERO malungkot ang mag-isa.

13. love makes the world go round

14. and damn! money, too!

15. hindi magandang magkimkim ng galit at sama ng loob sa kapwa. ikaw din ang mahihirapan.

16. PERO tao lang ako... mahirap magpatawad. lalo na kung hindi hiningi sayo.

17. KARMA continues to work. kahapon, pinatid nya ako - nahulog ako sa putikan. ngayon, sya ang unti-unting lumulubog sa kumunoy *wide grin*

18. love your work. (in connection to Karma... haha! buti nga! buti nga!) bukas, ako na ang nasa taas.

19. mahirap hindi maging bitter... :))

20. mag-ingat sa magnanakaw.